As one of the older generation, I was taught good manners by my parents and school, and my actions throughout life have been influenced by that upbringing. I grew up believing in respect for everyone and refuse to succumb to what I consider bad manners.
The latest instance in the news involves a photographer at Wolfson College in Cambridge. By coincidence, I worked there for a few weeks many years ago, when it was the only girls' college in the city. Now, it’s open to postgraduates and mature undergraduates and I’m surprised that mature intellectuals appear so intolerant. For the matriculation ceremony this year, a photographer was employed to take a group photo on a raised platform. As he finished, he announced that gentlemen were able to help ladies off the platform.
That was the start of another sexism row and certain females considered they were 'made to feel unsafe' by the comment. I would have thought the opposite. However, a letter of complaint has now been sent asking for an apology for the 'targeted atmosphere of inequality'. The offer of help was seen by them as an 'inappropriate, patronising and unnecessarily gendered comment to make'. How ridiculous! Why can’t men express civility and good manners without being pilloried?
I still hold open a door for someone, whether male or female; serve a drink or meal to a woman first; and compliment a woman on their appearance, so I certainly wouldn’t last long at Wolfson College where that would be seen as unacceptable and a danger to others. Cultural changes will occur from one generation to another, but surely we should be tolerant of those before and after us. We shouldn’t have to go through life treading on eggshells in case we offend someone, but open to other people’s opinions and their right to express them. Equality to me means respect, although I do believe that there are differences between men and women that shouldn’t be ignored, and if we can make the life of all more comfortable, then we should do so. Let’s lighten up and learn to live together, without seeing bad in actions that have no bad intent.