At a party, conference or gathering, there are ample opportunities to chat, but to speak to the person next to you on public transport can be seen as suspicious or inappropriate. On the Crossing Divides Day, some transport companies encouraged the BBC initiative. For instance, on Virgin Trains, carriage C was designated as a conversation carriage and passengers were given an extra drink free and invited to hand it to a stranger and start talking. At least passengers who entered the carriage could expect to be approached by a stranger with a cup of coffee, without feeling awkward. On Aviva coaches, the approach was more random and there were just cards on seats with conversation topics, suggesting that they were used as icebreakers. The idea may be a good one, but many passengers apparently preferred their own space and solitude. Commuters naturally tend to avoid eye contact or smiling, as they feel uneasy about encouraging a fellow passenger to respond. We build an invisible barrier around us as a defence, but in reality this increases a feeling of isolation in public places. Perhaps the method needs to be thought through, even if the idea is a good one.
Loneliness is, unfortunately, not uncommon and nowadays more people are living on their own than ever before. If they stay in their homes, they may not talk to anyone and a third of lonely people have admitted taking a bus in the hope of having human contact; yet the truth is that the lonely won’t easily start a conversation and it’s not easy to find a place where they’ll feel comfortable on their own.
Some years ago, I wrote a blog article (Eating Out Alone, But Not Alone - 17/09/14) where I suggested that restaurants had a 'table to chat'. People on their own could choose to sit at the table and converse with others on the same table without feeling on their own. Eating out is more pleasant when in a social setting and joining someone at a table when you feel like talking can make the meal more enjoyable. In my opinion, I’d far prefer to chat than read or look at my mobile, as so many people do when sitting alone in a restaurant.
I hope that the one-day experiment performed by the BBC was successful enough to repeat, but I hope next time they’ll extend it to restaurants and cafés, where people eat in a relaxed atmosphere and it’s not combined with the stress of commuting either to or from work.